A few days ago I shared a post What Would You Do? with a scenario and asked for your input...I also posed this same scenario & questions in my March newsletter and asked for responses to be emailed to me to share here. It seems this scenario has touched a nerve! Many of you responded that you have been in this exact situation...as the "new" woman.
I, too, have been the "new" woman numerous times...beginning way back in elementary school! We moved a lot when I was growing up and every few years I was the "new" kid. Not once do I recall being warmly welcomed or accepted...perhaps that is why I take particular interest in the "new" woman at any event or social situation.
Thank you for your responses!
As promised, I am sharing a summary of your responses along with my own thoughts. It is my firm belief that many times this scenario plays out because 1) we just don't pay attention and 2) we feel insecure or inadequate in these situations, and so not knowing what to do, we do nothing.
I believe that most women want to do the "right" thing and when they are taught the skills to handle certain scenarios they then have the confidence to reach out and do just that!
What You Would Do......
If you were the lady at the registration table to make every guest feel welcome & valued:
*Greet everyone with a big, warm smile and ASK questions such as "Have you visited with us before?"
*Have a sign up sheet ahead of time where people can make note of the fact that they are attending for the 1st time
*Give a genereal overview of the schedule and where certain things can be found, such as the ladies room, the entry to the event, etc.
*Have a group of (trained)hostesses ready to help people meet, mix & mingle
If you were the woman attending this event for the 1st time:
*Let people know right up front that you are new
*Look for someone else who appears to be there alone & introduce yourself
*Wear a big welcoming smile
*Initiate conversation with others who appear friendly
If you were one of the women who sat down next to the new woman (obviously there by herself) to make her feel welcome, comfortable & part of the group:
*Introduce yourself
*Ask her questions about herself
*Introduce her to others
My thoughts....
I agree with all of the above, you all had great suggestions...and while these responses seem like basic common sense, based on your experiences...and mine...apparently there is a missing link somehwere!
I would add that whenever you have the opportunity to be a part of the organizing committee (or if you know someone on the organizing committee) for an event that you make a point of "training" those who will be greeting and/or registering guests and that there would always be "trained" hostesses at the registration table and, if it is an event where ladies will be seated at tables, there should be "trained" table hostesses.
Graciousness is taught and then caught...in order for it to be caught it must first be taught!
If those of us who have been taught the Art of Graciousness aren't teaching it, living it, modeling it, to our daughters, our sisters, our friends & our peers...well then, how can we expect it to be caught by others?
When we live out, in practical ways, kindness & courtesy, and we look for opportunities to gently teach the same, we will raise the level of awareness and arm women with the confidence & skills they need to live a Life of Graciousness themselves.
Are you with me?
7 comments:
These are wonderful suggestions. My mother was good at this -- I am naturally shy and I am not. But I do the best I can!
Oh yes! Graciousness is something that can be learned. We need to be deliberate about it.
Great summary, Kathleen, thank you.
I'm totally with you! People really can learn how to be gracious and it is contagious. Here's hoping you could start an epidemic. :)
This reminded me of comments made to me by some of my daughter's friends and classmates at college. The first day of college she strode in the room and looked at everyone saying, "Hello! My name is Krystynna - what's your name"...she's training to be a teacher and she is great with people -
the arts you've described are priceless!
Kathy
This is definitely something I have developed with age and experience and it is amazing what a warm smile and a touch on the arm can do, whatever side you are on.
BONJOUR Kathleen! Oh, your photos are incredible! THose stuffed strawberries, I can only guess that is a sort of sweet cream cheese...WOW!!!! And your text; I think that kindness and a QUIET spirit is part of the wisdom we gain when we are growing older.It is what makes a beautiful young woman turn into a gracious and stunning older woman. I hope that continues to happen to me, for what we ARE inside is what is going to last!
THANK YOU FOR VISITING ME! Enjoy your day, Anita
I am with you! I have two children and I am forever preaching the importance of graciousness and kindness.
These thoughts and ideals were the cornerstone of my sweet grandmother's heart and soul.
Too bad women don't rule the world.
:)
Thanks for sharing!
(What did you stuff those strawberries with? Yum!)
xx
Alison
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